Blossom Blessings

kəmˈpaSHən (com·pas·sion)

Compassion has been at the forefront of my mind these days.  Not necessarily the notion but the feeling - the way it feels to be on the receiving end of compassion.  Specifically, working with and in conjunction with many health care providers in managing my sons chronic health condition.  Something I knew nothing about 3 years ago.

This situation has provided me quite a few 'first experiences' many of which I do not think I have handled extremely well.  The opportunity to try my best and still miss the mark since there isn't really any 'arriving' or 'winning' available and it is in fact not even part of the game.  The name of the game is showing up, trying your best and knowing that is the minimum of what can be done but will erase nothing, chronic is chronic.

However, as with most challenges, there are aha moments and gifts to be garnered along the way. I was lucky enough to have a few of these moments recently.  These experiences made me realize that the quality I admire most in a health care professional is not precision, degrees or accolades but compassion.  Sure you want a provider to know their stuff and serve you well but for me compassion needs to be present also to feel completely satisfied.

I came to this realization last week when one of the professionals we work with said to me - I really feel for you, I would be a 'basket case' if I had to deal with what you do.  And yet another said - I don't know how I would handle it, I really feel for you.  Now you might think this would make me uneasy about their credentials & capabilities but the opposite is true - their candor in sharing what was in their heart while working with me and my son made me feel more trust in their abilities instead of less.  

Although this may seem very evident to many it was pretty monumental for me.  The aforementioned providers did not think : I am health care professional and you are client and we will keep our distance in our roles.  Instead, they looked me in the eye and 'said' - I am human and you are human and I feel for and with you, and that for me, is as good as it gets.

 

 

 

Nature as Nurturer (and ass-kicker)

I think it is kind of evident that I revere flowers, plants and Mom Nature.  This is why my work involves making elixirs and potions that support, honor and heal with the beauty of the natural world at the core.

What is less evident is that when I go out into my very own overgrown garden - I am brought to my knees.  While I was making school lunches and doing laundry, photosynthesis was happening big time out there!  A day of pruning 17 rose bushes is a total core work out (no need for pilates).  And I am reminded of one of my late father's favorite terms - oakie nautilus - and I realize on days like these the 'gym' is found in the garden.

It is a good lesson as I try to pull the roots of the ivy that is growing up the side of the house (to no avail) that natural goodness isn't just about smelling nice and receiving support - it is about survival.  These botanical 'friends' support so well because they have learned to survive in their environments and are willing to share their medicine with us - their human family. 

Every season has its own gifts and challenges and I find any work done rewards you 10 fold.  However, it takes discipline and patience and dedication.  My recent time spent in the garden here in early spring has been reminding me of this quote by the Sufi poet Rumi: "And don't think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter. It's quiet, but the roots are down there riotous."  And because of this, even in my confusion of exactly where weed ends and root begins, I smile and am encouraged by the omnipresent force of Gaia.

Sometimes, I Melt…..

A favorite phrase of mine, that I have shared with some close friends, is: Mothering is not for sissies (or parenting for that matter).  The amount of effort and good intentions that can seem 'lost' somewhere in limbo (or laundry or food prep or gardening or emergency contact forms) has baffled me a bit I must say.  And now with my eldest on the brink of flight for college next year, I wonder - really wonder - where did the time go?  But, I digress, this is about herbs.

Last Friday I received a lovely package from a woman on Etsy of dried herbs.  I ALWAYS have dried flowers to embellish my products and packages but things get sparse (even here in Napa) this time of year so I needed to call in some reinforcement and decided I wanted to call on a sisterly Etsy business owner to do so.  When we collected the mail after school, Henry (my youngest) kept asking me what smelled so good and we discovered the herbs.  He asked for his own little bowl of potpourri on his dresser and I said - sure, later.  Then we did snacks and homework and piano and etc. and it didn't come back up again.  Later that night as I put the little boys' sheets on their beds I saw this tiny handful of the most fragrant of the herbs (chamomile) on Henry's dresser and I melted.  I loved that he cared enough to search out the bag and take just enough, but not too much, to enjoy the beauty.  With all that I don't know about parenting, I do know this - these little people that we bring and raise and nurture have the power to melt our hearts in seconds and THIS is the magic and the beauty of parenting and love.

 

 

'Makers Gonna Make' Interview

Very honored and happy to have been chosen by Rebecca of Rebel Roads for her 'Makers Gonna Make' series.  My interview can be found here and in my 15 years at this I would say it is the one I am most proud of.  Thanks Rebecca!  http://rebelroads.com/2015/01/26/makers-gonna-make-interview-anna-wingfield/

Friday 'Boost'

There is no ’supposed to be’ in bodies. The question is not size of shape or years of age, or even having two of everything, for some do not. But the wild issue is, does this body feel, does it have right connection to pleasure, to heart, to soul, to the wild? Does it have happiness, joy? Can it in its own way move, dance, jiggle, sway, thrust? Nothing else matters. ~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Friday 'Boost'

I saw my first frost (of the season) on this leaf on my walk this morning.  Made me think of Robert Frost and wanted to share this little lovely:

“God made a beauteous garden
With lovely flowers strown,
But one straight, narrow pathway
That was not overgrown.
And to this beauteous garden
He brought mankind to live,
And said "To you, my children,
These lovely flowers I give.
Prune ye my vines and fig trees,
With care my flowers tend,
But keep the pathway open
Your home is at the end."

God's Garden” 
~ Robert Frost

Aromatherapy Playdough for the Win!

 

This is my playdough that is making me extremely happy today.  I made it for a playdate for Henry and a friend, and his friend's mom and I liked it as much or more as they did.  It is actually my first time making it and it worked like a dream, so I want to share.....

I found a recipe on a website called 'instructables' and it worked oh-so-well.....

2 cups flour (we used brown rice flour)

1 cup salt

2 cups warm water

2 tablespoons oil (we used olive)

1 tablespoon cream of tartar

Mix all ingredients and then cook until it starts pulling away from sides then take off of heat.

At this point it really gets fun!  I added natural orange dye from Whole Foods and lavender and sweet orange essential oils (that made it that much more relaxing and fun to knead).  I immediately felt the relaxing effects of the oils while I worked the playdough to incorporate the color that started as tye dye and ended as a nice even orange.

Of course I had the perfect 'assistant' too, holding the space for relaxation inspiration.  Meow.

 

The Other Side

 

This picture slays me.  My beautiful, brillant, neice in her hospital smock before her kidney transplant last July.  After the experience of knowing and loving her and our family during this journey I am forever changed.  She was diagnosed with polycystic kidney diesease (PKD) at the age of 2 and knew one day she would need a transplant.  This day had arrived.

I used to think 'courage' was something we did because we 'wanted to'.  I now believe courage is something we do because we 'have to'.  Now 'grace' is another matter and it is all over this endeavor.

The night before my niece's procedure I went to my sister and brother-in-laws' home to be there within our family and do what people do as they wait.  We ate chicken, drank wine, and just 'were'.  At one point I heard my brother-in-law, Rick, tell my sister he had e-mailed her all the financial information if something were to happen to him (he is the donor) and it struck me.  These are the conversations a person can count on one hand in a lifetime.  She listened and nodded and gave what little she had left after the years, days and hours of preparation for this moment.  Then we put some words of affirmation (in the form of temporary tatoos) on our bodies in support of the process and especially on Rick and Elizabeth to inform the surgeons and their staff that they were operating on some very peaceful warriors here and all open and kind heart juju was welcome.  This was my sister's awesome idea and I did and still do just LOVE it!

The next day we met at the UC Davis Med Center and it was time.  I won't forget the absolute grace that was present within our group (Elizabeth's sister - Berkeley, Grandma Janice, her boyfriend - Travis, her parents - Julia & Rick and myself) only love, support and acceptance could be felt.  Rick (the uber-willing donor) had a 4 hour operation and upon waking earned big points by saying to the nurse - my wife is precious (nice to hear, she really needed this).  He, on the other hand, does not like being called a hero and feels he just did what any parent would do, he's awesome like that.  Elizabeth's operation was supposed to take 3-6 hours and took more like 9.  My sister stayed strong, wowie was she ever brutiful!  When the surgeon came out he said - the kidney is pinking up nicely and already making urine (referring to Rick's kidney in Elizabeth's body).  The absolute wonder of modern medicine, I bow down.  At one point my sister told me how grateful Rick and her were that they could continue to support their daughter at the age of 23.  This made me think of adding a sequel to the book The Giving Tree.  Grace, again.

Elizabeth is the kind of woman that walks into a room and people stop talking and just stare.  She is incredibly beautiful & fun but I don't think that is all there is to it.  Along with those long legs and gorgeous eyes and teeth and locks is the grit of a girl who always knew it would come to this - and she chose to thrive anyway.  

And now, oh yes now, we are all on the other side.  After 3 months of living in her childhood home close to the facility that performed her operation she returned to her 'pre-transplant' home in San Diego last Friday.  She went back to her beautiful boyfriend Travis, to her darling (albeit naughty) French bulldog Murphy , to her cozy condo by the beach and job in the field of marketing that she loves and is so talented at with renewed energy to enjoy it all again.

Elizabeth is made of many things - blood, flesh, stars, bone and a new kidney from her dad that is giving her restored health, vitality and hope as she continues in the sweet life she has built for herself.  This is a party worth celebrating and I hope you will join in.  Om shanti, shanti, shanti.  Life is good, and even better when you know how good it is.

You should probably make a mandala…..

I am so enjoying marking special days or prayers with mandalas.  It feels very sacred and is so easy and satisfying to do with whatever nature is around (no calories either - tee hee).  My youngest son and I made this Mandala for The Full Blood Moon last night (with geranium, a fallen apple from our tree, spider plant and fennel) we had fun and were quite pleased with our 'work'.

Friday 'Boost'

I used to write a poem or quote on Fridays and pair it with a picture.  I've decided to change it up a little bit and share a mantra, a song, or any little thing that porvides a boost for me (and hopefully it will for you too).......

I have this Sark quote on my 'feel good' bulletin board and see it several times daily and it always makes me exhale:

You are Sublimely, Exactly, how you need to be at this moment.

Wishing you a fabulous Friday!